Episode 440: From Martial Arts to Master Connector: Building Genuine Human Relationships with Steve Spiro

Steve Spiro (00:00)
For me, it’s all about human connection — and a big part of that is learning how to truly connect. One of the most powerful ways I’ve learned to do that is by being others-focused — by being genuinely interested in others.

Intro (00:16)
Welcome to the Making Sales Social podcast, featuring the top voices in sales, marketing, and business. Join Brynne Tillman and me, Bob Woods, as we each bring you the best tips and strategies our guests are teaching their clients so you can leverage them for your own virtual and social selling. Enjoy the show!

Bob Woods (00:42)
Steve Spiro is here! How are you doing today, Steve?

Steve Spiro (00:45)
Bob, I’m doing outstanding. How about yourself?

Bob Woods (00:48)
I’m doing pretty good, thanks! So, Steve is a truly amazing guy. He launched his first company in advertising right after college. He’s a fourth-degree black belt in karate and a first-degree black belt in jujitsu. He’s also owned his own karate studio, which I find really interesting.

He attributes much of his success to the discipline, work ethic, integrity, and resilience he developed through martial arts, which is fascinating in itself. When the economy shifted, Steve transitioned from advertising to sales. And that’s quite a surprising path for a self-described introvert with an art school background.

Despite the challenges, he mastered the art of connection and became a top sales performer. In fact, he’s mastered it so much that he’s now known as The Master Connector, with more than 30,000 LinkedIn connections. Steve hosts The Master Connector Show, a LinkedIn Live broadcast. He’s also a published author and inspirational speaker who empowers introverts to break barriers, connect authentically, and lead with selflessness.

So with that, welcome to Making Sales Social, Steve!

Steve Spiro (02:13)
Well, I appreciate that! What’s going on, everyone? Steve Spiro, The Master Connector, coming at you live and direct! It’s really good to be here with you, Bob. I appreciate it. That introduction was humbling — I was listening and thinking, “That’s a good guy… I wonder who he’s talking about!”

Bob Woods (02:32)
You’re very welcome — and it’s well-deserved. So our first traditional question is always the same, and I have a feeling you’re going to nail this one. What does Making Sales Social mean to you?

Steve Spiro (02:51)
You could go a lot of directions with that, but for me, it’s all about human connection. And a big part of that is learning how to truly connect. I’ve learned to do that by being others-focused — by being interested in others.

We all know the saying: “People do business with people they know, like, and trust.” But a lot of sales professionals forget that part — they go straight to the pitch. We see it all the time on LinkedIn: the “pitch-slapping.”

To me, it’s about getting to know someone. It’s what I learned from one of my first self-development books — How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. When you walk into someone’s office (or meet on Zoom), take notice of things around them. Ask about a book on their shelf, a picture behind them — get to know them as a person.

Then, as the conversation naturally transitions to business, you can start to understand their needs, challenges, and what keeps them up at night. I did traditional door-to-door sales, but my art and creative background made me approach things differently. While others wore dark suits and red ties, I wanted to stand out — to be authentic and relationship-focused.

I’m a big believer in the DISC personality model — understanding how people communicate: are they fast-paced, slow-paced, task-oriented, or people-oriented? It all matters.

So, for me, the social aspect and the human connection go hand in hand. If you go straight to business and skip the relationship, you’re missing the mark. As Dale Carnegie said, “If you find out what people want, they’ll move heaven and earth to get it.” You find that out by asking questions with a heart that genuinely cares. You’ve got to care first — that’s the key.

Bob Woods (05:37)
You nailed it. And that brings me to another question — by the way, “ditch the pitch” needs to be on a T-shirt!

Steve Spiro (05:48)
It’s a book, too, by the way!

Bob Woods (05:50)
I thought that sounded familiar!

Steve Spiro (05:55)
I wish I got a paycheck from it, though!

Bob Woods (05:56)
Exactly! So, you talked about communication and mindset. Many salespeople still have a self-focused mentality — hit your numbers, build your pipeline, always be closing. But you’ve bridged that gap — moving from that mindset to one focused on serving others.

What happened when you flipped that switch from “me” to “them”? And what ripple effects have you seen — not only in your business but in others you’ve helped do the same?

Steve Spiro (07:00)
There’s a lot in that question! You mentioned ABC — “Always Be Closing.” I love Glengarry Glen Ross, but I’ve changed ABC to mean “Always Be Connecting.”

It’s not about what you can sell — it’s about how you can help. That shift starts in your heart.

I had a close friend and mentor who modeled selflessness. I watched how he served people and saw the loyalty that came from that. At the time, I was self-focused — not selfish, but focused on myself. Seeing him changed that.

He also recommended The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann — a powerful book about serving others. That, combined with my spiritual beliefs in reciprocity and sowing and reaping, completely shifted my approach.

In my book, I call it The Secret of the Corn. If you plant corn, you don’t get apples — you get more corn. You sow a few kernels, and eventually, you harvest hundreds. It’s the same in business. If you sow good, you get good back — not immediately, but it comes.

That mindset really took hold for me during COVID. I started doing seven or more Zoom calls a day, focused on others. And in the last few years, my business has grown more than ever — not because I chased money, but because I focused on giving and helping.

You sow often, and you’ll reap often. But it can’t be manipulative — it has to come from the heart.

I’ve been blessed, not just financially, but in relationships. The biggest reward is when people tell you how much they appreciate you — that you’ve made a difference for them.

I’ve learned that self-esteem isn’t what you think about yourself; it’s what you think others think about you. And the best way to build it is by serving others. When people come back and say, “You’ve helped me so much,” it fills you up. That’s what it’s all about.

Bob Woods 11:12
Yeah, definitely. Without a doubt. How do you help others find that switch?

Steve Spiro 11:19
How do I help others? I tell stories. To me, the best way to lead is through example. John Maxwell, one of my favorite authors on leadership, says, “How do you spell leadership? E-X-A-M-P-L-E.” You set the example. You can tell people what to do, but if you show them or share stories, that’s another way of demonstrating it. They may not witness it firsthand, but when you tell them what you did with a person or in a situation, it sticks.

Nobody wants to be told what they should or shouldn’t do, but if you live your life by example and share stories, it resonates. Not to get religious, but Jesus told a lot of stories, right? It’s an effective way to teach.

Bob Woods 12:09
Yeah, absolutely. So when you have that mentality, another word that often comes up—sometimes overused—is authenticity. It’s become a buzzword. People say, “I’m authentic,” but are they really? Authenticity has to be a mindset or a behavior. You’ve built a reputation for truly being authentic. What does that mean to you, and what should it mean for others—especially in business, where people don’t always associate authenticity with professionalism?

Steve Spiro 13:17
There are a lot of directions we could go here, but for me, authenticity means sharing my vulnerabilities and insecurities—things I’ve struggled with and, hopefully, overcome. I often tell people early in a conversation that I was an introvert. I was picked on, bullied, and had learning disabilities. When you share things like that, it lowers barriers. People realize you’re not perfect.

If you’re speaking in front of a group, admit that you’re nervous. They probably sense it anyway, and honesty builds connection. Authenticity isn’t about appearing perfect across every platform. It’s about being real. The challenge with social media is that people only show their highlight reels. But when you show your flaws and lessons learned, you become more relatable.

It breaks barriers—especially in this digital era where screens and technology create distance. Authenticity brings back humanity and humility.

Bob Woods 15:27
Yeah, both words work there—humility and humanity. I think there are two types of authenticity. There’s the real kind you just described, and then there’s the “role-playing” kind, where people act authentic, but it’s not truly them. You can sense that, right?

Steve Spiro 16:12
Absolutely. I remember my mentor telling me about someone we knew—the real-life Jonah Hill character from The Wolf of Wall Street. This guy had always been a high earner, but he once told my mentor, “I admire you. You always come across so sincerely. How do you do that? When you talk to people, you put your hand on your heart—what’s the trick?”

He was looking for a technique. But it’s not a technique—it’s a heart thing.

Bob Woods 17:08
Exactly. You can’t fake authenticity. You have to remove all those filters that business and society put on you and just say, “Forget it—I’m going to be me.” Speaking of filters, that’s kind of a filter in itself, but you know what I mean.

So, shifting slightly, this morning I came across a LinkedIn post from you that really connects to what we’ve been talking about. It starts with a quote: “You’re sitting on gold, but too many never pick up the shovel.” You wrote that there are untouched treasures in the connections we already have.

People don’t need to constantly chase new leads—they need to rediscover the ones already in their world. Most never take the time to go deeper, follow up, or reignite old conversations. The best opportunities often come not from strangers, but from those who already know, like, and trust you.

You say you make it a daily mission to reach out to people in your network. How does that work for you? Can you share an example or two where that went really well?

Steve Spiro 19:23
Absolutely. People often ask me why I connect with so many people—I’ve got about 30,000 LinkedIn connections. Some say, “Why would you connect with someone you don’t know?” I tell them, “Why would you connect without the intention to get to know them?”

Whenever I connect with someone, I reach out right away and say, “Hey, we’re connected—let’s get on a call.” Not everyone says yes, but many do. I use LinkedIn’s “Catch Up” feature daily—it’s like my CRM. It shows birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, or job changes. I click the button to send quick messages, and when people respond with “Thank you,” I follow up and say, “Hey, let’s catch up—it’s been a while.”

I do this consistently to reconnect, check in, and see how I can add value. I approach it with a go-giver mentality—no agenda, just service.

When I have a great call with someone, I often say, “Hey, look through my connections. Pick six people you’d like to meet, and I’ll introduce you.” Because I’ve built so much relationship capital through posting and genuine engagement, people trust my introductions—even if we haven’t spoken before.

Sometimes they even reply, “Thanks for the introduction! You and I should chat too.” That’s powerful. I do this not to get something, but because it’s the right thing to do. And yes, it has led to collaborations, podcast guests, and even business.

But the biggest reward is when someone says, “I’m so glad you reached out. I was expecting a pitch—but you genuinely wanted to connect.” That’s music to my ears.

Bob Woods 23:47
That’s great to hear—and rare. In this world of pitch-slapping and connection requests that immediately turn into sales messages, it’s refreshing.

You also talk about breaking through the noise. What does that look like today? How do you really make true human connections?

Steve Spiro 24:43
I’ll give you three examples. First, we’re in an era where many young professionals don’t know how to truly connect. They grew up texting—even sitting next to friends on the same couch. So when I suggest a call, some say, “I don’t do calls.”

Funny story: I connected with a car salesman who said that. Then I told him I was interested in buying a car—suddenly he wanted to talk! There’s this resistance to real conversation, especially among younger generations.

But here’s the thing—you can’t really get to know someone without talking. You can’t build trust through 16 text messages. You have to connect human to human.

Bob Woods (26:04)
Yeah, it’s like a horse thing going on there. Makes no sense to me.

Steve Spiro (26:06)
Right? But anyway, that’s one example. There’s the younger generation, and then there are some of us introverts who just need to learn how to truly connect — the engineer types, right? I often speak to three main groups.

The first is the younger generation, eager to get out and connect but unsure how. The second is the “engineer type,” like me — people who’d rather look at a screen than talk to people but realize connection is essential for professional growth. I’ve met many technical folks during demos who are brilliant engineers but also have great people skills, and those are the ones who really stand out. Helping those more introverted types learn to connect effectively is something I love doing.

I also read a great book called The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard — worth reading or listening to. He explains how introverts are often better connectors because they’re observant and great listeners. That’s a huge strength.

Bob Woods (27:22)
I’ve seen that book — I recognize the cover. Looks interesting.

Steve Spiro (27:25)
Definitely worth checking out. But yeah, it’s about breaking through that introversion barrier.

The third group I like to speak to is sales professionals — especially those who’ve done hardcore door-to-door selling like I did. How do you break the barrier to reach C-level executives? First, how do you get through to them? And once you do, how do you break the “arms folded, lips pursed — what do you got?” type of wall?

For me, the answer is being authentic, real, and others-focused. Those are the key ways to break barriers. I talk about four pillars:

1. Being others-focused — a true Go-Giver mindset.
2. Being authentic.
3. Having grit.
4. Building community and growing connections.

Those first three are especially important. You need grit because getting through often takes multiple touches. Back in the day, it might have taken three or four touches to reach someone. Today, it can take 15 or 20 because buyers can do their own research online. But the flip side is, once they’re ready to talk, the sale can move quickly because they’ve already done the homework.

So, persistence matters — but it has to be authentic and others-focused. People can feel that energy when you reach out. That’s what breaks the barrier in business development.

Bob Woods (30:01)
You mentioned grit — that can go a couple of ways, both positive and negative. What’s your definition of grit and how do you apply it?

Steve Spiro (30:13)
Well, before we hit record, we talked about martial arts — that’s where I really refined my grit. It’s about hanging in there and never quitting. When I first started, everyone in class was bigger, stronger, and faster than me. I’m five foot six, not exactly intimidating, but I stuck with it through broken noses, split lips, and even broken bones.

Three months after I joined, I watched a guy named John earn his black belt. Years later, I passed everyone from that class except him — he became a fifth-degree black belt, and I made it to fourth degree. I got there because of grit. I just didn’t quit.

Now, in sales, grit doesn’t mean being annoying. It means being pleasantly persistent. Mix up your outreach — maybe a call, maybe an email, maybe a LinkedIn message. If they’re local, maybe stop by with something thoughtful, even a box of coffee.

Bob Woods (32:02)
And always bring value. That’s the key — show up with something that genuinely helps them. Though, yeah, coffee always counts as value too.

Steve Spiro (32:20)
Exactly. Persistence and grit go hand in hand. In martial arts, I learned the simple truth — you win because you don’t quit. Nobody wants to face someone who keeps coming back. Same in sales — be relentless, but in a pleasantly persistent way.

Bob Woods (33:06)
Good stuff. We always end with an actionable takeaway for our listeners. So, Steve, what’s one thing people can do right now to step out of their comfort zone and start building authentic, agenda-free relationships that lead to real growth?

Steve Spiro (33:49)
Reach out to a stranger and have a conversation. Seriously. Whether it’s through LinkedIn or in person — meet someone new, exchange contact info, and connect with no agenda.

A mentor once challenged me to meet three strangers every day. I’ve been doing it ever since. You don’t have to start with three, but start with one. Have an authentic conversation, and at the end, simply ask, “What can I do to add value for you?” or “How can I be a blessing?” Not “Here’s what I sell.” Just give.

If you do that consistently, it’ll change your life — it’s changed mine.

Bob Woods (34:53)
That’s really interesting. So, in person or online?

Steve Spiro (35:01)
Both. Online, it’s easy — just click someone’s profile on LinkedIn and say, “Hey, I’d love to connect for a quick chat.” Out of my 30,000 LinkedIn connections, I’ve only spoken to a small percentage. So, there’s plenty of opportunity.

Bob Woods (35:15)
That’s great advice — something I might even try myself. So, for people who want to learn more about you or bring you in to speak, how can they reach you?

Steve Spiro (35:42)
Sure! If you’d like to book me as a speaker, visit master-connector.com or email me at info@master-connector.com. I’m focused on speaking engagements, not coaching, and I love working with event planners or sales leaders who want to bring energy and connection to their events.

You can also visit stevespiro.com for a general overview, or connect with me directly on LinkedIn.

Bob Woods (36:36)
And don’t forget, Steve also hosts The Master Connector Show on LinkedIn Live — that’s Wednesdays at 1 PM Eastern, right?

Steve Spiro (36:47)
That’s right — and the website is masterconnector.show. And Bob, you’re joining us in March, which I’m really excited about!

Bob Woods (37:04)
Looking forward to it! And I’m sure podcast hosts would love to have you as a guest too.

Steve Spiro (37:10)
Absolutely — always open to guesting on other shows!

Bob Woods (37:14)
Awesome. So — master martial artist turned Master Connector — Steve Spiro, thank you for joining us for this excellent episode of Making Sales Social, live from the Social Sales Link Virtual Studios.

Steve Spiro (37:31)
Thank you, Bob. It was an honor.

Bob Woods (37:33)
And thank you all for watching Making Sales Social. Remember, when you’re out and about this week — make your sales social.

Outro (37:51)

Thanks for watching, and join us again for more special guest instructors, bringing you marketing, sales training, and social selling strategies that will set you apart. Hit the subscribe button below to get the latest episodes from the Making Sales Social podcast, give this video a thumbs up, and comment down below on what you want to hear from us next. You can also listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube Music, and Amazon Music. Visit our website, socialsaleslink.com for more information.