Episode 201: Erin Duffy- Embracing Your Wisdom and Owning Your Story

Erin Duffy  00:02

Being extremely present and bringing your unique presence to every conversation that you’re having, And when you have those conversations that you are not only present, but you’re truly listening and you’re connecting with your audience and when you make those deep connections and that they get to know you at a deeper level, that builds those kinds of relationships that we, as business owners and business leaders are looking to have, as we are building our businesses and we’ve been really acquiring new clients is really about bringing your unique presence to the room and just every conversation.

Intro  00:46

Welcome to the Making Sales Social Podcast featuring the Top Voices in Sales, Marketing and Business join Brynne Tillman and me, Bob Woods. As we each bring you the best tips and strategies. Our guests are teaching their clients so you can leverage them for your own virtual and social selling. Enjoy the show!

Brynne Tillman  01:11

Welcome back to Making Sales Social. I’m Brynne Tillman here today with Erin Duffy, a career transformation and stage presence coach. After 25 years of managing dual careers first as an executive and a creative agency by day and simultaneously a singer-actor by night, Erin combined the two to create her company inspiration square. 

Erin works with mid-career business professionals and leaders who struggle feeling fulfilled and confident and want to step into their personal power and advance their careers. She helps them to clarify and own their unique personal story. Erin believes our stories hold the insights that help us transform our lives in her highly curated programs. 

Her clients develop a richer personal narrative by clarifying the stories behind their life experiences, she then helps them to use the personal power of their story to catapult their career journey and use it to supercharge their stage presence. Welcome to the show! Erin, so glad you’re here.

Erin Duffy  02:18

Thank you, Brynne, It’s so wonderful to be here. I’m just looking forward to our discussion today.

Brynne Tillman  02:25

Oh, I am too and it is gonna be powerful. In 20 minutes, I can feel it all ready. Before we jump into our power, we ask all of our guests the same question. What does Making Sales Social mean to you?

Erin Duffy  02:40

You know, this is such a wonderful question. And you know, and you can hear a lot like just in the bio that you just read there, a lot of it for me really means about being extremely present. And bringing your unique presence to every conversation that you’re having. And when you have those conversations that you are not only present, but you’re truly listening, and you’re connecting with your audience. 

And when you make those deep connections, and that they get to know you at a deeper level, that builds those kinds of relationships that we, as business owners and business leaders are looking to have, as we are building our businesses and we’ve been really acquiring new clients is really about bringing your unique presence to the room and just every conversation.

Brynne Tillman  03:29

I love this. And that’s going to bridge us into kind of that first question, which also talks about power, Right? And it talks about the power of having our unique voice or stage presence that we bring anywhere that we’re having conversations. So talk a little bit about the importance of that. 

 Erin Duffy  03:50

Well, I have found that in business, and as you were reading earlier in the bio, you know, I had a very long career in corporate America in Silicon Valley, as well as being a singer-actor. And one of the things that I had found, especially my business career is that when I showed up in the room, and I was fully present, meaning I brought air and fully to that room, without judgment without comparing myself to others, when I turned those voices off, and I literally owned who I was and walked in that room. 

That’s when I really made a greater impact. And actually, because I was in a creative agency, I actually built the business better that way because they got all of me I wasn’t faking it. And I realized it was that moment, when I realized, “Whoa, there’s something here.” There is something here about. I was no longer comparing myself. 

I wish I was more like that person doing a presentation or I wish I was more like him who just got up in that room and made a great impact. I wish I could be more like them. When I finally turn those voices off and realize “Wait! Erin, Be more yourself, Be fully present.” That’s when I realized that’s when I was making a deeper connection with potential customers with current customers and even actually, within my company, within other colleagues and with other teams, and there was gold in that. 

And I think what happens, Brynne, is when we start in our careers in our 20s, after college and you’re trying to get in into that first job, we start to, learn from others, and we emulate “Oh, I want to be more like that person,” “Oh, I wish I could learn this.” We’re learning, we’re learning a lot in our 20s and 30s. But what also happens there to some people is we sort of check a part of ourselves at the door sometimes, or I’m not going to bring that part in because oh, it may not be right, or it’s just, I don’t sound smart enough, or whatever. 

Those little voices in our head that tell us to turn it off. But what ends up happening is as we get deeper into our career, and we’re climbing that ladder, and we’re starting to step more into leadership, the reality happens that what the world is asking for is for us to become more of ourselves and bring our own unique voice back into that room and stop comparing ourselves to others. And for some people, that’s hard to do, they’re not even aware of it. 

And then when they are able to figure that out, and find that out and start to own and claim that voice, and really step into their unique presence and really own that. That is really what allows them to be more empowered by who they are. And they truly do step into their power at that point and become the leader that they really want to be. And it’s really that the world really wants us to bring our uniqueness to the room and not be like somebody else. 

And the power of that is us really learning to own our voice and really own our presence and bring that presence, to the room to the stage. However, you want to still say that because I always tell people, “We are always on stage,” Every time you walk into a room is not just the big stage, it’s really every time you walk into a room, whether it’s having a one on one, or you’re walking into a team meeting, or maybe you’re walking into the boardroom or you actually are on a physical stage, are you bringing yourself fully to that stage.

Are they seeing Brynne, fully? Are they seeing Erin, fully? And when we do that, when we truly bring ourselves to that stage, it’s amazing the connections you make, because you are bringing your authentic self that the audience knows, the audience knows we’re faking it, Right? So think about when you fully are there, they also know it and you make a much deeper connection.

Brynne Tillman  07:53

Interesting. You know, it’s funny, because you think you come from being an actor, which is acting like another character to like, a full 180, which is not acting just to show up authentically.

Erin Duffy  08:07

Right.

Brynne Tillman  08:09

You talk to me kind of about that dichotomy of I need to obviously there’s confidence and believe in yourself. But also, I’m coming in whether I’m in sales or business development, or I’m trying to make a great impression in the boardroom, or whatever that is, we practice, we practice, because we’re trying to, in some ways show up the way they want us to show up versus our authentic self. So talk to me a little bit about how do you get to the point where you are totally authentic, but you’re also working the crowd? 

Erin Duffy  08:49

Right. And such a great question. And you know, the interesting piece about being a singer, actor and also being a businesswoman at the same time. I love being on stage, I actually loved taking on a role and creating a character and making that character real for me, right becoming that character. But what was interesting, Brynne is, As a singer. 

I also discovered this ability that I have always had even as a child, but I was always able to make the song my own. For some reason, I would listen to the lyrics and I would hear the story. And I would make it my own. And it’s just something I always had until the mid-90s, when I actually discovered that that’s actually an art form. 

And that’s called cabaret singing. Cabaret singing is, you know, story and song, where you take a song and you make it your own. So it’s no longer Erin the character on stage. It’s Erin the singer telling her story through song. And it was when I discovered the power of that when I interpreted the song and it was my mom I interpreted and then I sang it to you, the audience member and realized there’s no longer the fourth wall. 

And I’m making a deep connection to you as an audience member, and I’m pulling you in because I’m being very vulnerable. I’m being very honest. And telling the story of this song based on my interpretation, I started realizing I was making this deep connection with my audience where they would come up to me and say, “Oh, my God, that was my story.” You just told me my story. 

Brynne Tillman  10:26

Wow!

Erin Duffy  10:27

Realize, there’s something here. And when I started to incorporate that into business, when I started to show up, because Brynne, you hit it right on the nose. When I was in business, especially in the early days, I would show up in a presentation and my mind was always like, “Erin, be what they want you to be you this the board, you better think about what they want you to be.” and realizing I never felt totally fulfilled when I would do that. 

Maybe I was, quote, unquote successful. But I never felt fulfilled until one day when I actually threw that threw caution to the wind, honestly, in a very, very serious mood, a meeting, I mean, so serious to the point that if it was for a huge contract, and if my company didn’t get this contract, we were looking at major layoffs, if we didn’t get this head that’s how serious this was. 

And I remember going in and going that same thing, “Erin be what you think they want you to be,” “Make sure you’re speaking to the right people,” “You’ll be what they want, what they want you to be.” But then as it was my turn to go, I literally threw that all away. And I literally showed up as taking my cabaret experience. And I just was Erin and I started to speak to them, and there was like, in this room, there are 50 people in this room. 

And we’re presenting to all these people. And I suddenly was speaking to them, I was talking to them, I was looking them in the eye. And I was Erin. I wasn’t trying to sound like I should use the right verb, the right words, and make sure you sound smart, all those voices, I shut them out. And I was just Aaron, really speaking directly to all of these people in this room. And what’s interesting, a couple hours later, we heard back that chances are really good, we’re gonna get this contract. 

But the one thing that we were told was that the CEO of our company was told they should have had Aaron do the whole thing. And when I heard that, I’m like, “What are you talking about?” Because I thought everybody else was like, “You’re so good. Everybody was so good.” 

Brynne Tillman  12:29

Prepared. 

Erin Duffy  12:30

They were like, and I thought “What the heck did I do?” And then I realized.

Brynne Tillman  12:34

You connected.

Erin Duffy  12:35

I communicated, I connected, I pulled them in, and I made a deep connection with them. And I thought there’s something here when we show up as ourselves and bring our presence to the stage. We look people in the eye, we’re truthful, we’re honest, we’re vulnerable, you will see that the room suddenly gets a little bit more grounded, a little bit more comfortable, and they’re listening to you. 

And there’s such power in it. And that’s something it’s not taught. It’s not taught and yet we as business owners, business leaders, we all have the power to do it is just running it, and that’s what I call it my practice. That’s what I call the “Inner game.” And the inner game is what I call the gold because when you own your inner game, then it’s like it is gold.

Because then you deal with the outer game stuff like how do I speak? You know, how do I stand? How do I know, you got to own the inner game first. And when you do, it’s transformative to watch and everybody. 

Brynne Tillman  13:39

Yeah, so this kind of spurs a two-part question for me. Which first is you know, you talked about, claim your wisdom. So that’s about really embracing your subject matter expertise, your thought leadership, Right? So how does someone claim that number one and number two, I believe there’s a correlation with owning your story, Right? So there’s Yeah, claim your wisdom and own your story. Talk about how someone gets started on that journey.

Erin Duffy  14:11

Yes. And that what you just talked about is all part of that inner game work. And in claiming your wisdom, I tell everybody I work with, and even people that are not my clients or colleagues, friends who are building businesses or leading businesses, I tell them, “When you show up 100% Your unique self, you have no competition.” And when you embrace that, because you don’t like there could be a million people doing what you do. Right? 

And yet, there’s only one of you. And when we’re able to look at that and do a deep dive into what it is that you do, what is it that you bring to the world? What does that genius bring and you Look at it, you own it. And you see, there’s nobody else like you and you own that. That’s when you own your wisdom. And part of that wisdom Brynne, is us realize that you’re right, there is nobody else out there, like me, and yet the world really needs me. 

And by doing that work, you really do stand on your own two feet, with confidence and comfort in that, and are able to go out to the world as the thought leader that you are. And the world really wants to hear what you have to say. But it’s, it’s all of us owning that, Right?  And a lot of that comes from what you just said, in owning your story, because so much of our wisdom comes from our stories. 

And those stories make us unique, and it’s amazing the power of our stories and the years, these are just not the stories in our career. These are the stories of our life, even all the way back to childhood. It’s amazing. The AHA does that happen. When we even tap back into these little stories we think we have from our childhood, you do a deep dive and you realize, “Oh, there’s such a connection to how you’re building your business today.” 

And when you see these little things, all of a sudden, they become just, they’re magnified in a way that you’re like, you’re so proud of this story. And you now know why you are where you’re at. And you kind of own the stories differently. And once again, you’re also seeing yourself as that unique and transformative leader that you are, and there’s nobody else out there like you.

Brynne Tillman  16:39

I love this. So I know that you help a lot of your clients tap into their personal insights out of their own life story. So tell folks that are like, “You know what, I’m ready for this,” I’m ready to own my story. I am ready to take over the world, right like the claim my wisdom and transform the way that I am showing up so that it is the authentic me. So for those listeners that are like, I want to learn more, where can they find you?

Erin Duffy  17:08

Well, they can definitely find me on my website, which is inspiration squared, which is inspirationsqrd.com And also, you know, what I have that I love to share with people is I do what I call a camera confidence makeover session. And this is such a great first step into it. Because the camera confidence thing, it’s really a part of my stage presence, part of the business. 

It’s that first step, because all of us are on camera today, Right? That was the big thing with COVID. Right? Suddenly everybody was stressed on the camera. And it’s about making that deep connection on the camera. But it also is touching in on your unique stage presence, because it’s how to bring your presence to camera. Bringing this presence to camera also is bringing your presence to every room you walk into. 

So I would love to offer your audience a 30-minute makeover session and wow. Yeah, it’s fun. And it’s a great way to sort of tap in. But also, you know, I love having conversations with people who are really interested in starting to claim their presence, as well as, you know, transforming that career. At this point. A lot of God, a leader, a lot of rising leaders right now are looking to take that next step and they’re trying to figure out how to find that unique presence. 

Let’s have a conversation. You can definitely connect with me on my website. I have a whole 60-minute, free little conversation where we can look at where you are and help you start claiming that story. Because that is that first step and really owning your unique and your unique presents itself.

Brynne Tillman  18:53

I love this. So it’ll be in the show notes. It’s inspirationsqrd.com. I love that. And they can schedule a call with you also as an inspirationsqrd.com/call-request.

Erin Duffy  19:11

Exactly. Yes. And they can just go to the website that’s right there as well. That part’s easy on the web. 

Erin Duffy  19:19

Perfect!

Erin Duffy  19:20

And I’m also on LinkedIn, of course. Yeah/

Brynne Tillman  19:20

Of course, and https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin–duffy/ So yes, this has been so much fun. It’s such a different way of looking at showing up and you know, most of our audience are in some kind of business development role even if they’re a business owner, or sales rep or sales. You’re a CEO responsible for revenue right and at the end of the day, what I love is to fake it till you make it, when it’s broken. Don’t believe it.

Erin Duffy  19:57

It’s broken.

Erin Duffy  19:58

Yeah, don’t believe the audience knows when we’re fake. Looking at what they really do and my thing is there’s nothing like not faking it and just being yourself bringing yourself you will be amazed how you will pull people in and it’s getting comfortable and confident with who you are.

Brynne Tillman  20:17

Erin, Mic drop moments all over the place. Thank you so much. I enjoyed this conversation. And for all our listeners out there when you are out and about don’t forget to make your sales social.

Outro  20:33

Thanks for listening and joining us again. For more special guest instructors bringing you marketing, sales, training, and social selling strategies that will set you will park don’t forget to subscribe to get the latest episodes from the Making Sales Social Podcasts, Leave a review down below. Tell us what you think, what you learned, and what you want to hear from us next. You can also listen to us on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Google Play. Visit our website socialsaleslink.com for more information.